Bitch in a BoxA Leafy Gift Guide for Plant Parents

Photo credit: House Plant Box, The Sill

As a millennial living in a less-than-ideal apartment situation, plants have become one of my favorite ways to freshen up my living space. And in the process of adding greenery to my home, I quickly became one of those kinds of plant people (a.k.a. the kind of people who non-ironically refers to themselves as “plant parents.”) So, if you have a friend, partner, family member, or coworker who’s also weirdly obsessed with plants, then peruse this gift guide—and take solace in the fact that all of the gifts on this list are certified green.

Any Succulent Imaginable
{ The Succulent Source }

Listen—almost every millennial plant enthusiast has a succulent phase that borders on ridiculousness (and is maybe an unhealthy fixation.) The sheer amount of weird lil’ succulent friends in every size, shape, and color imaginable can be overwhelming at first, and it can be difficult for succulent fiends not to blow their entire paycheck at their local nursery. If you do choose to indulge your succulent-loving friend or family member’s appetite for weird plants, you may have to take partial responsibility for their growing obsession.

Pet-Friendly Plant Guide
{ The Spruce }

If your loved one has a pet that won’t leave their plants alone (like my cat, Stewart), you want to ensure they won’t be harmed by whatever houseplant you choose to get for them. Thankfully, the Spruce created a pet-friendly guide that includes an array of plants ranging from spider plants to orchids and venus fly traps. I would also suggest purchasing a deterrent spray for pets that like to chew up plants for no apparent reason. It’s too late for my Boston fern, but we might be able to spare someone else’s favorite plant.

Indoor Houseplant Subscription Box
{ House Plant Shop }

Yard space might be limited for the people on your list who live in an apartment complex or an urban city. In that case, houseplants are the best option because they require low light and can double as home decor. Give indoor plant lovers a houseplant subscription box that drops new gifts at their house once a month (or until the subscription is canceled).

Marimo Moss Ball Kit
{ The Sill }

If your giftee is a little adventurous or doesn’t mind unconventional plants, consider getting them marimo moss balls. Described as “a fuzzy aquatic ball of filamentous green algae,” these little guys are small, cute, and relatively easy to care for. They’re pet-friendly, and only require owners to change the water in their bowl every couple of weeks. And maybe it’s just me, but I swear each moss ball has its own distinct personality.

AeroGarden Harvest Countertop Garden
{ Kohls }

The ability to pick fresh herbs from your countertop is every chef and home cook’s dream. I’ve never had luck keeping my indoor herb gardens alive, but I’ve also never invested in adequate indoor lighting. The AeroGarden Harvest comes with everything you need to start your own countertop garden, including LED grow lights, seed packets, and plant food.

The Gift of Getting High
{ Eaze }

Pot is technically a plant, okay? Unfortunately, the legality of cannabis use varies from state to state (if you’re in the United States). Currently, 33 states allow the medical use of cannabis and 11 states allow recreational use. Politico has created a guide to the state laws governing cannabis use, and WeedMaps allows you to search the available dispensaries and marijuana delivery services in your area. Eaze is a convenient delivery service for those who live in a weed-friendly state, like California, Colorado, or Oregon, that makes getting high easier than ever before.

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Air Plant Trio
{ The Sill }

Potting soil? Not a fan! It’s essentially glorified dirt, and every time I repot a plant, it ends up getting everywhere. (Somehow newspapers are completely powerless to stop the mess.) If the person you’re shopping for hates getting their hands dirty, they might love air plants. Air plants don’t need to be potted and survive solely on water.

Donate to High-Impact Environmental Charities
{ Friends of the Earth }

It doesn’t matter how many plants we gift to our loved ones if we don’t take action to protect the earth. Making a charitable donation to organizations that work to fight against pressing issues like climate change, deforestation, and Republicans rolling back environmental protections is one of the best gifts for plant lovers. Make a tax-deductible donation to high-impact environmental charities like Friends of the Earth, an international nonprofit that campaigns for safer and more sustainable food production, ending the destruction of rainforests, and improving public health programs. Eartheasy has also created a list of charitable foundations highly ranked by Charity Navigator, Charity Watch, and BBB Wise Giving Alliance.

There’s more…

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by Marina Watanabe
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Marina Watanabe is Bitch’s senior social media editor. Previously, she hosted a web series called Feminist Fridays. She’s also been called an “astrological nightmare.” You can find her on Twitter most days.