Photo credit: Dame
Do we even need to remind you how exhausting this year has been? As we approach the end of 2020, we’re stepping into a new world in really big ways—Joe Biden’s inauguration soon comes, and it will come equipped with a science-backed plan for fighting COVID-19 and, with it, the hope that we’ll be able to see each other again soon. Once the vaccine has been fully distributed, what will our relationships with ourselves and with one another look like? That question will lead to others: How has stress translated to our romantic and sexual lives? Have we committed more to our own pleasure? Or have we let things that feel good slip to the wayside? In honor of things that feel good, we’ve rounded up nine of our favorite self-pleasure gifts. There’s a lot we can’t control, and a lot we can’t guarantee as this wild year wraps up. But we can at least provide ourselves with small doses of pleasure. Here’s where to start.
I have probably tried 20 sex toys in the last five years, but the classic Hitachi Magic Wand is the only one that still lives on my bedside table. I’ve tried similar wand vibrators, and despite the many attachments and much prettier designs that other brands can offer, I’ve never found a vibrator that can match the original Magic Wand’s specific level of rumbly vibrations. Though it’s a huge pain to have to plug it in, that also Magic Wand can never die. Team Magic Wand forever.
Audio porn, which is exactly what it sounds like, has been one of the year’s biggest pleasure trends. Dipsea has emerged as one of the most popular apps for audio porn and erotica (full disclosure: I’ve written for their blog). Whether you want to listen in on a dramatic romantic tale or just want to listen to some heavy breathing—we’re not judging—Dipsea has a massive library that’s sure to have something that will suit your needs.
My love for Unbound began years ago largely because of their Instagram. Everything about the brand feels like surrounding myself with my favorite types of people: cocky women who know what they want and speak confidently about their desires while also just being really funny, strange, and welcoming. Unbound isn’t the judgy friend who shames you for never having an orgasm; she’s the one who talks you through it. Most recently, I’ve found love with Bender, their body-safe, flexible internal vibrator. Because it’s so flexible—bendy, you could say—it’s perfect for a wide range of bodies and a wide range of uses.
This is by far the most beautiful masturbator sleeve I’ve ever seen. Tenga, which offers interesting internal and external textures, is an artful option for people with penises who have an eye for design. It’s also easy to clean, since it comes with its own built-in drying stand.
To me, pleasure isn’t always about sex or masturbating. It’s about dedicating time to yourself, even if it’s only 15 minutes. When I’m so stressed that I want to stand on my balcony and scream for 1,000 years, it feels really good to sip a hot cup of tea. There’s something about the process of making tea, whether loose leaf or bagged, and the pause that it requires to accomplish the task. This Hot Cinnamon Spice tea is from Harney and Sons, one of my absolute favorites, and it’s festive, delicious, and the sort of powerful flavor that can shut down your other senses for a moment and force you to focus on nothing but the moment you’re spending with yourself. Enjoy.
If you’re drawn to toys like Unbound’s Bender because they let you decide how to enjoy the toy, you’ve got to check out Cute Little Fuckers, a sex-toy brand specifically designed to be trans inclusive. Long gone are the days when toys could only be used for a single purpose. Now we have a generation of sex toys, including Starsi, can provide vibrations anywhere on the body and can be palmed, humped, or otherwise loved on. It’s also cute.
With five patterns and five intensities, Pom is another soft, flexible toy that lets you decide how you want to get off—but it also just enough options to keep you from having to flip through them forever before settling on one that works for you. Dame prides itself on intuitive design, and it really accomplished it with Pom. Pom is also a fantastic intro toy if you’re intimidated by the now massive world of sex toys.
Also from Unbound, Pogo is a dildo that works really well with harnesses or solo. It’s made from really soft and smooth medical-grade silicone, and it pairs best with water-based lube. Per the name, it’s a great toy to add to your rotation if you’re hanging out alone this holiday season and want to take yourself for a bit of a ride.
These silk restraints from Nox have sold out so many times for a good reason: They’re glorious. Handmade in Montreal, these restraints come in spring green, champagne blush, pewter blue, lavender dream, and basic black. Spending the holidays with a partner? These make a perfect dream. Quarantining separately? These catch the light beautifully for a good old fashioned nude. Just want to get all dressed up for yourself? There’s no better accessory than a silky one like these.
