No Kidding

No Kidding: And If You Love Me, Let Me Go

Happiness is fluid, of course, but I’ve never been willing to bet two decades or more on the idea that maybe, eventually, an experience will be “good” for me. I’m not afraid of missing out on something by not having children. If anything, I’m afraid of the flip side, of having so many things to do in life that I’d never be able to balance it all. I feel lucky to live in a time and place, supported by a like-minded partner, when making that decision is possible. I wish that freedom for everyone, the freedom to make choices about not just what might be good for each of us, good for society, or good for the planet, but choices based on what we truly believe will bring us long-term happiness.

No Kidding: The Dreaded Overpopulation Conversation

At some point in discussions about being childfree, the inevitable “I don’t contribute to overpopulation” argument shows up. It’s one of the most complicated for an environmentalist like me because taking that stance immediately implies others do not care for the world in the same way... Read more »

No Kidding: Academic Style

Last week, a good (lesbian, childfree, professor) friend sent me an article from an issue of the Palgrave MacMillian journal Feminist Review from 2003. I’ve tended to stay away from these sorts of pieces in this series because I don’t assume I’m writing for a specifically... Read more »

No Kidding: Are Childfree People Angry?

As a childfree person, I feel like I often have to defend against the stereotype that childfree people hate children. Based on the comments from my last post about being a childfree person who actually likes kids... Read more »

No Kidding: On Being Childfree and Really Liking Kids

Since I’ve pretty much always known I didn’t want to have kids, this has come up for me a lot over the years—specifically when talking to people who also like kids but don’t want to have their own. In my personal and professional life, I’ve met daycare staffers and school... Read more »

No Kidding: What About The Men? Pt. 2

What do you make of the idea that men have an inherent right to fatherhood? Read more »

No Kidding: Studies Tell Us Parenting is Tough

Last week, Time published “Kid Crazy: Why We Exaggerate the Joys of Parenthood.” This piece focuses on studies from the journal Psychological Science about parenting, and the take-away is the same as the... Read more »

No Kidding: What About The Men? Pt. 1

When I talk about women’s choices regarding children, pregnancy, and childbirth, someone usually asks about the men. Last month, I interviewed half a dozen men of varying ages, backgrounds, and life experience about why... Read more »

No Kidding: Where Are The Childfree Role Models?

Some women I’ve written about before, celebs like Jennifer Aniston, sidestep the issue all the time instead of owning their ambivalence (or however they feel! Just own it!). Barbara Walters and Oprah... Read more »

No Kidding: Do Women Have the Right to Sterility?

A fairly obvious question that I haven’t addressed during this series is whether women have the right to be sterile. It seems like sort of an obvious one (if not with just one obvious answer) until you consider how we frame other discussions about women’s health. Read more »

No Kidding: Are You Essure?

Do you think women know that non-invasive procedures like Essure are an option? Do you think childfree women have the same trouble securing any form of permanent birth control, no matter which type they want? Have you encountered resistance from medical professionals about sterilization options? Read more »