Sadly, National Candy Month is coming to a close. I suggest you go to the nearest candy store and pick up the following: caramallows (WTF! Caramel & marshmallow in one treat! What evil genius concocted this!?!), Pop Rocks (If you’re feeling risky, wash ‘em down with a Coke–preferably in a glass bottle.), and a handful (or five) of brightly wrapped hard candy. After the candy man hooks you up, unwrap your treats, get all hopped up on sugary goodness, and dance around your bedroom ‘til you crash while listening to these sweet little ditties.
1. Sugar Daddy by The Jackson 5. One year ago, we lost the man whose sweet young voice owns this track. Michael, you could’ve been my sugar daddy any day. I would’ve loved to drive your caddy. RIP KOP.
2. I Want Candy by Bow Wow Wow. Candy and sweaters don’t mix unless you’re into fuzz.
3. Chocolate Jesus by Tom Waits. See only a chocolate Jesus, can satisfy my soul. (Oh yeah, whiskey helps too.)
4. Candy by The Magnetic Fields. Advice to Candy: Try O-Henry. He’s a better man.
5. On The Good Ship Lollipop by Tiny Tim. Honestly, I don’t think there could be anything better than traveling on the good ship lollipop while Tiny Tim plays the ukulele in the sunshine. (Plus, imagine landing on a chocolate bar! What a dream!)
6. Mars Bar by The Undertones. Somebody needs to get this guy a Mars Bar fast.
7. My Boy Lollipop by Millie Small. One of the best songs to lip sync in the mirror with a hairbrush microphone.
8. The Candy Man by Sammy Davis Jr. Jesus may have walked on water, but the candy man can take a sunrise, sprinkle it with dew, dip it in chocolate and a miracle or two.
9. Peppermint Twist by Sweet. If this anthem doesn’t make you want to get up and do the peppermint twist, you are deranged.
10. Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows by Lesley Gore. So that’s what love is like. (But, what flavor?)
11. Pure Imagination by Gene Wilder. The classic.