Like, a Virgin

personally i wouldn't sell my "purity" to the highest bidder. men willing to pay like that just creep me out. but she has every right to live her life and act on her sexuality as she wishes. to a degree that's what the women's movement has been around. at least it's going for the noble pursuit of higher education.

as a virgin i find it funny how virgins are considered "pure" and "innocent." like we don't have any sort of hands-on knowledge of sexual activities (of which sexual intercourse is only one). and i was always under the impression people weren't all that good the first time around anyway.

i really don't understand society's emphasis on it either. because in high school and college culture, to which i belong, virgins are looked down upon. Thus, we are pressured with the expectation that overall society wants us to remain "untouched" but our peers want us to "do it" as a way of saying we're somehow better than formerly because of it. and WTF are you supposed to do with that?

so i don't get it either....but it's easier to say those men are just insecure in their manhood.

She values her virginity only monetarily. She will "give it away" for money instead of postponing her first sexual experience for love or commitment or sexual pleasure. Is there a time limit on the de-flowering act? Can she refuse a bidder? Which doctors will verify the lack of STDs and the strength of the condom? ... Honestly, I don't care if she auctions herself off. Best of luck with the movie rights.

This article's view and the story itself really upset me. The comments, even more so.

"Why's virginity special? Why should sex be any different the first time? What's the premium on virginity/sex?"

Don't sell yourselves short. And no, I don't mean that in just the literal sense--not making a pun at the story. Just seeing things like "why should it be special the first time if it's not going to be special any other time" and "...some perverted form of ownership."

These are sad days we live in. Don't trivialize sexuality.

This woman has done scores of interviews in the past few months, and as problematic (and obnoxious) as Tyra Banks is, she had Natalie on her show. Her guests actually included Natalie, her sister (who briefly worked as a prostitute at the Bunnyranch Brothel where Natalie's business transaction will go down), Dennis Hof (owner of the Bunnyranch), his girlfriend/employee, another prostitute "Air Force Amy" at the Bunnyranch, and... one of the men who is bidding on Natalie's virginity.

The segment was obviously a grab for ratings, but everyone got a chance to weigh in on the situation. The man who was bidding on Natalie was a 59 year old businessman who said that he was willing to pay for the act because he'd never had a virgin before, and it was basically something he wanted to do before he died... and "the experience of showing her and teaching her would be great... as an older guy." He added "I want her virginity. I want her."

That sense of ownership, of literally buying a woman, is one of the most disturbing things about this whole situation, and sexual transactions in general.

Natalie also responded by saying that she and her sister are going to open a family therapy practice together, and this whole virginity sale is a "case study" to see how "impassioned" people would be when a woman chooses to sell her body.

After everyone in the "biz" had their say, Sonia Ossorio, the president of the New York City chapter of NOW, called the situation "normalized and glamorized prostitution... what we're talking about here has nothing to do with feminism." She went on to say to Natalie, "you're beautiful, you're smart, you're articulate, I don't want to see you go out like this."

The fact that Dennis Hof will receive 50% of whatever Natalie earns off the deal came up as well, which raises huge questions about exploitation. Also, in response to an earlier anonymous poster, she can refuse a bidder, and she claims that she will not necessarily accept the highest bidder, but will choose a man she has "chemistry" with. Right.

Dennis Hof's prostitute "girlfriend" responded to this by saying that a "good prostitute" always takes the highest bidder.

It was all very interesting and I was actually impressed with the spread of opinions on the issue. My own feelings are that this is a publicity stunt which is serving to twist and contort what it means to be an empowered, financially independent woman. I am also of the opinion (which I know is probably unpopular among many individuals here) that prostitution is not feminist, but I am eager to engage in this conversation and curious to see how this whole situation ends.

You can view the show featuring Natalie Dylan and Co. on YouTube here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jawfLTLRiPg

I read this article, the comments, and then watched the Tyra show and found that Natalie seemed to be the most intelligent articulate person on the show, even considering the President of the New York chapter of NOW. For the most part, people seemed outraged and disapproved her decision, but instead of listening to what Natalie had to say and having a discussion about her choices and reasons, people passed simple judgments based on their own morals. There wasn't a real discussion about whether or not this issue is on the side of feminism because Natalie is exercising her right to chose what happens to her body, or if it opposes feminism because she is allowing society to exploit her and use her as a sexual object. As a matter of fact, no one, not even the president of the New York chapter of NOW, gave a reason why it was anti-feminist. They simply expressed disapproval and disgust. People said vague statements such as "what about being a role model" or "shouldn't your virginity be special" or "aren't there better ways to pay for college". None of these statements address the real issue: what makes selling your virginity empowering, or what makes it exploitative and why is that good/bad? Should a woman take advantage of an opportunity even though it has gender biased undertones?

I don't think the issue is virginity, it's sex as a hole - errr I mean whole.

Ok - I am with a man that has never been in love with anyone except me. We've been toghether for a few years now and recently he told me he wished he never had sex with other girls and that he only did it because he didn't believe that an emotional connection changed what sex was & he wished he wouldve lost his virginity to me. It's debatable whether it changes or not but I'm going to say from my own experience, being in love with someone makes it alot funner and better. So like the other commenter before me said, what is a man's virginity? how do you measure it? I told him not to worry, as he lost his virginity to his hand, and I'm not jealous of his hand.

So in a way - it's the way we view sex, as a glorified repetitive body movement. Why isn't washing dishes so glorified? It's a cultural thing stemming from past moralistic taboos.

We should glorify healthy relationships, not sex.

Anyone can have sex. If having sex is 'cool' then my dog is the motherfuckin man, and if abstinence is cool, I'm gonna have to start hanging out with 3-year olds.

if 2 people are consenting...

perhaps the question might be better phrased:

"<em><strong>upon what will SHE spend her money in trade for something she preferred to value more?</strong></em>"

I think I'm more interested with the question of what would be worth the exchange in her mind?

...an education?
...a future?
...financial security?
...travel?
...medical help for a relative or stranger?
...a pile of useless, over-hyped consumer goods?

I'm really curious where that money goes: something interesting & worthwhile? something shallow & depressingly consumerist in an over-hyped selfish consumerist media culture?

or maybe she's exchanging one commodity for another to just go out & have fun....
& that's okay, too.

because if we don't have control over how we live, enjoy or prosper in our bodies... then what do we have as a human freedom?

more to the point, I'd be interested to know if it did turn out to be crap we're told we 'need to have to be happy' as we're told we'll 'never measure up to Societal Standards of External Validation'...

Perhaps the relationship of a woman to her body has become more... about what we can get with what we've got, rather than simply enjoying ourselves with those we care about?

who knows?

but a woman's choice to live & make a living within her own body is just about the single most important human right she can have.

perspective, people.

Perspective.

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