My what a douche-y week! In desperate times like these, we feminists have only one option…. A douche-off! In one corner, we have Ann “R-word tweeter” Coulter, an awful person if there ever was one. In the other corner we have Richard “God intended rape pregnancies” Mourdock, who is also terrible. Two douches enter, one douche leaves!
THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE. (Just kidding they are both douchebags.)
A quick recap of this week in douchebaggery before we vote:
The Albany Assclown
Ann Coulter, of anti-feminist, racist, professional turd fame, used the “R-word” to refer to President Obama after Monday night’s presidential debate. If that wasn’t ableist and repulsive enough (bonus barf: it’s been retweeted 3,579 times), Coulter doubled down the following day and did it again. But wait! There’s more!
I’m comin’ for ya, Mourdock!
In a whatever’s-the-opposite-of-a-douchebag move, Special Olympics athlete and global messenger John Franklin Stephens wrote a gracious open letter to Coulter asking her to rethink her use of ableist language. She did what any douche-off contender would do when presented with an opportunity to learn something and grow as a person: She refused to apologize and instead defended her use of the term. This one’s in it to win it, folks!
The Ignoramus From Indiana
Richard Mourdock is an Indiana Republican Senate candidate who said on Tuesday, when asked whether abortion should be allowed in cases of rape or incest, that when a woman is impregnated during a rape “it’s something God intended.” In what is becoming classic GOP fashion, this Tea Partier doesn’t think women should be allowed access to abortions, even if they’ve been raped, because that would be going against God’s will. But wait, there’s more!
Out-douche ME, Coulter? I’d like to see you try.
In a follow-up press conference yesterday, Mourdock went all in on his pro-life position. He claims his “God willed your rape” comments were taken out of context, but he still believes that a woman who’s been raped should not have access to an abortion. During the conference, a reporter asked Mourdock to clarify that he wasn’t apologizing for the remarks themselves but instead expressing regret for how they were heard. “That’s correct,” he said, in an obvious attempt to win the douche-off.
Now that you’ve had a chance to review the facts (and lose your lunch), it’s time to vote. Who’s having the douchiest week ever?!