Here’s how I spent mine:
- Being disappointed upon discovering it wasn’t Pro-Cupcake Life Day
- Eating leftover cupcakes from Bitch’s clothing swap/supporting a woman’s right to choose
- WONDERING WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE
The Cupcakes for Life Campaign is as crazy as it sounds. One blissful day a year, bake cupcakes with pro-life messages and share them with all your friends. Why cupcakes? The site makes its motivations sound simple: “Simply because everyone wants them!”
Well, okay, guilty. (There really is a 2’ x 2’ empty cupcake box in the Bitch Office right now). But what they’re not saying is “We are targeting children.” They’re straight-up organizing elementary and high school kids to spread the message that abortion’s wrong, only instead of using bloody photographs or baby dolls, they’re using birthday parties and cupcakes to get their point across.
I don’t know how well that’s going to work (embryos are the last thing I want to think about when I enjoy a cream-cheese frosting cuppie). As my friend Maya put it, “It’s as if they were like, ‘Hmm..children. They’re kinda like stupid adults! And will naturally feel more empathy for the fetuses than women since they were in utero a hot second ago and aren’t old enough to have any semblance of bodily and emotional autonomy anyway!” Yep, nothing makes a kid ponder religion and reproductive rights like cupcakes, or “life-cakes” as they call them (again–pretty effective way to make cupcakes completely unappetizing).
And it is laughable, but browsing through their website quickly turned into a trip to the wack factory. There are detailed instructions for spreading misinformation about abortion, err I mean, handing them out to friends, and examples of dumbed-down rhetoric for third-graders, oops–I mean suggestions for how to ice your life-cakes.
(Yes I realize I’m linking to their site, providing them free promotion, etc. But it’s too fascinating to overlook, and besides, it’s a whole year to get jazzed for the next NPLCD.)
But after a while you really start to get the heebie-jeebies. Everything appears really cutesy and happy and cupcake-y but the desperation behind the pushing the pro-life message is weird, and adds a really dark element to it. For example, take this question from their FAQ:
Q.) What if my school won’t allow me to bring in cup cakes?
A1.) Give them out before or after school!
A2.) Do it anyway and be quick about it! Also be very apologetic and kind if you get caught.
A3.) Ask for permission to bring in pre-packaged cupcakes from a bakery!
A4.) Just pass out flyers and make cupcakes after school and hand them out to your neighbors in the name of life. Whatever you do, don’t give up when confronted by opposition!
A5.) Just hand them out somewhere besides school.
A6.) Ask to set up a table at your local grocery store.
I actually feel a more appropriate question would be “Q. All my old friends have stopped hanging out with me ever since the day I brought those ‘Blood of Christ’ cupcakes to class. What gives?” But when they’re encouraging kids to “do it anyway and be quick about it!” and telling them “Whatever you do, don’t get up when confronted by opposition” you really start to see the way they’re turning schoolchildren into activists and encouraging them to literally shove anti-choice messages down the throats of others. The “Ideas” page alone is pretty terrifying:
Ideas for elementary school kids:
Some kids are not ready to know everything about abortion; however, a mom could bake a batch of cupcakes that just say: I Heart Babies on them. The young student could go into class and tell all of his or her friends about how babies need lots of love as they slowly grow inside their mommies.
And all this coming at the end of a week of a new Oklahoma law requiring women to fill out an extensive questionnaire–effectively shaming and scaring a woman seeking an abortion in one sweep, and Michele “If there ever was a living incarnation of batshit crazy” Bachmann, among other right-wing factions, challenging the confidentiality clauses in health reform bill saying thirteen-year-olds will be dropping by the abortion clinic before hopping on the schoolbus home. Who knows who actually will take National Pro-life Cupcake Day seriously, but National Insidious Anti-Choice Agenda-Pushing Week seems to be a not-so unbelievable reality.