Attention Bitch readers!
It was made known to us last night (by a big hole in the wall) that our Bitch door sign has been stolen! Here is a photo of the purloined sign in its former glory (in case you need to make an I.D.):
Red alert, readers! Lock up your signs because there is a thief on the loose! If you see this sign floating around NE Alberta Street (or in some jerkwad’s apartment somewhere) please bring it back to us! Our sign was a donation from Ferrousity and we really feel it tied the whole office together.
And to the major A-hole(s) who decided it was cool to take this sign in the first place: Congratulations! We hope your friends are impressed by your feats of thievery. You should feel especially proud of yourself since we are a nonprofit organization, which means that money for a new sign will have to come out of funds that would have gone toward hosting community events, publishing our print magazine, and obtaining books for our free lending library. So, you know, way to go on the whole stealing thing.
And another thing, thief: If, by chance, you stop feeling quite so good about your crimes, or your d-bag friends stop being impressed by your ability to steal a sign that says the word “bitch” on it (hilarious!), please return our sign to us. We won’t be mad; we just want our darling sign back in its rightful place above our door. If, however, you do not feel any remorse for stealing the sign of a struggling, independent, nonprofit organization, then hopefully said sign is not too big to shove up your ass.
The Sign-less Staff of Bitch Media