Most Bizarre and Desperate Reactions to the Royal Baby

Unless you managed to spend the better portion of today on a remote island, there’s been no escaping the steady barrage of royal baby tweets and headlines commemorating the Cambridge couple’s spawning.

With nearly every internet outlet taking the opportunity to broadcast their two pence, there are undoubtedly some glaring examples of less-than-newsworthy posts floating around. Here’s what we gathered.

First and foremost, one website exists solely for the purpose of answering the most important question: Is there a royal baby? (Spoiler: There is.)

Which fits perfectly with a popular Twitter plea for Kate and Will to thrust their newborn high over the royal balcony, Circle of Life style. 



 Like, really popular. 

 

The #LionKing hashtag is filled with more of the same.

And at the rate that the royal baby is taking over the Internet, it might not be long before we hear his take on being likened to Simba. No time was wasted in solidifying the Duke’s place in history, online and otherwise, with a Wikipedia entry.



And of course, countless parody Twitter accounts. 

Some are so eager to imagine what the baby looks like that they’ve taken to Frankenstein-ing these nightmarish photoshop submissions. 

Despite being less than several hours old, there is already public speculation as to who the as-of-yet unnamed prince will tie the knot with—sort of. After all, what’s any celebrity news without a little Illuminati conspiracy?


Inevitably, some saw the royal birth as an opportunity to further launch their product. Nabisco won in this arena for the most timely marketing campaign.

And ABC Family made an effort to promote their somewhat appropriately themed program, Baby Daddy. 

Meanwhile, ABC News banked in on mass-scale domesticity and encourages everyone to celebrate the occasion with some British recipes.

ABC also incorrectly postulated the baby’s sex based on rather arbitrary and binarist observations about Kate’s pregnant body—mostly that it was indeed pregnant.



But perhaps my favorite of the royal birth’s strange coverage comes from a mainstream newstream source: CNN. According to The Daily Beast and various tweets, the network didn’t just congratulate Kate on having a baby, but more specifically on having a male baby her first go-round, swiftly reminding us that sexism has long outlived the decapitation-filled days of Henry VIII. 




Now that we’ve all got that out of our system, let’s get back to focusing on the ongoing sterilization of female inmates, or the Texas GOP’s latest proposal to ban abortion at six weeks—or anything else at all, really.