Oh Joy Sex Toy: How to Rock a Threeway

Erika Moen
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I’ve been producing webcomics since I was 15 and doing it full-time as a professional since the age of 25 at Periscope Studio in Portland, OR. My work has been published by Dark Horse Comics, BOOM! Studios, Image Comics, Fantagraphics, Last Gasp and Villard, among my many self-published projects as well.

Oh Joy Sex Toy is a weekly comics series that graphically explores sex and sexuality. This week, Erika Moen offers some sage advice on threesomes. 

a comic about the ins-and-outs of having a threesome

Read a bunch more Oh Joy Sex Toy comics, including one about the joys of reading and drawing erotic comics

Want more from Erika Moen? Oh Joy, Sex Toy: Volume One is 268 pages of sex tips, interviews, sex toy reviews, and more! Get your autographed copy at BitchMart.

Here is a text transcription of the comic to make it more accessible for people using screen readers. Transcription by Morgan Kelly.  

 

Erika begins this comic by saying, “My Dearest Perverts! Let’s be honest here, we’ve got a lot of orifices.” A couple is having sex next to her, one person has dark hair and the other has light pink hair. The dark haired person chimes in, “Tell me about it.” Erika continues, “It’s impossible to expect your partner to look after them all at the same time.” The person adds again, “God knows I try!” Erika says, “Sometimes… Sometimes it’s necessary to bring in outside assistance.” The couple looks shocked, “!!!. Oh boy, you mean we’re gunna learn-” Then in decorative cursive lettering, “How to Rock a Threeway.”

The two people exclaim, “But we’re in love! Won’t sleeping with someone else jeopardize our relationship? Why risk it!” Erika throws her hands up, “Friend, there’s so many different reasons to have a threeway!”

The next frame depicts several illustrations of different people participating in threeways. The captions read, “Maybe it’s something you’ve always fantasized about. Maybe your third can do something that your partner isn’t willing or able to do for you. Maybe it gives you a chance to be sexually involved with someone of a different gender or sex than your partner. Maybe it would be a breath of fresh air to your established sexual routine. Maybe it just sounds like fun! Whatever the reason, it’s a sexual experience that you and your partner are sharing together.”

Erika returns to the original couple. The person with pink hair says excitedly, “I’m game! Ooh, what about that person? They’re hot!” Erika responds, “Now hooooold on a second! Before you go on a wild three-for-all, you’ve got to…” Then in decorative cursive lettering, “Communicate.”

The next frame depicts the couple in discussion. The caption reads, “Talk honestly with each other about why you want this and what your fears are.” The person with pink hair says, “I’ve always wanted to Eiffel Tower!” The other person says, “I’m scared this means I’m not enough for you.” The person with pink hair responds, “Oh honey! I want to do this WITH you, together! I may have fun with them, but I’m in love with YOU.” The accompanying caption reads, “Address your partner’s concerns and reassure them!”

Erika jumps in to say, “Generally try to keep an open mind and be up for trying new things (within reason) with your partner… they just may become your new favorite! However, if your partner isn’t into it right now – or ever! – that’s completely valid and must be respected.  Badgering and pressuring them to get your way is a shitty move! If you both do decide you wanna give it a go… You’ve got even MORE talking to do with each other!” The couple look as if they’re peering around, “NOW we find a third?”

A large decorative heading reads, “Communicate SOME MORE: Figuring Out the Basics.” The couple begins asking questions, “ What kind of a relationship do we want with our third? Should it be someone we already know? A friend? An acquaintance? What about a stranger? From a club or bar? Or an online personals ad? What sexual acts are on the table? What’s off limits? What kind of protection will we use? How much and what kind of contact will we have with them when we’re not boning?”

Erika explains, “It’s pretty common to agree on some very restrictive rules in the beginning-” The couple is in discussion, now they decide “Ok, fingers and oral ONLY, no penetration.” Later the couple decides, “I’m ok with penetration now.”  Erika continues, “-And then over time to relax a bit, as you both grow more comfortable and establish trust. Talk about these agreement changes between everyone in advance, don’t make sudden changes right in the middle of fucking!”

The couple is standing with a third person, that person has long dark hair. Erika is next to them as she says, “Once you’ve found a third-” The couple interrupt her, “Yessss, let’s get this party started!” Erika continues, “-Now you’ve gotta talk with THEM. Setting up a no-sex coffeeshop date is a great way to meet your potential sex buddy and get all the deets hammered out without any pressure to jump into anything RIGHT NOW.”

The couple is in animated conversation with the person with long dark hair. Their speech bubbles read, “Here is the kind of relationship we have with each other… Here’s the kind of contact and relationship we want with you afterwards… When was your last STI testing? Ours was… Here’s what protection we’ll be using… Here’s the kind of contact and relationship we want with you afterwards… We just want to do these sex acts, but not these ones… What are you comfortable with? What’s off limits for you? How do you feel? What do you want? Do you have any questions?”

Erika jumps in she has both thumbs up as she says, “When everyone is on the same page, together you can finally get your group-freak on.” The couple and the person with long dark hair are illustrated having sex together. In the next frame, the three people look exhausted as they say “Dang, we are spent. Now what?”

Erika adds, “I hope this doesn’t need saying, but BE KIND to your third! They’re your special guest star so be a good host! Chat with them and make sure they enjoyed their time with you two. After they’ve left, having some one-on-one time with your partner to digest your threeway can help with any kind of jealousy or awkwardness that might arise. Or you can just re-cap how awesome it was!”

Erika concludes this comic with a wink, “So, that’s it! I wish you all the best of luck and just remember the old saying: Two’s company, but good things cum in threes!”

 

 

 

 

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12 Comments Have Been Posted

Not a whole lot of....

Not a whole lot of pictures of threeways with all men, or all women? What the heck.....

I fully agree on how this

I fully agree on how this sort of only depicts on how men can rock a threeway with two women, when in reterospect, i dont know too many women who are very interested in sharing their boyfriend/husband etc. with another woman. In fact, i know more women, including I, who prefer to have a threeway with two men. I wish the artist here showed a few more depctions rather than just one. Its sort of limiting the idea more so

This graphic is disapointingly hetero-normative

An entire page about three-ways and no bisexual men? This is disappointing to me.

I found the idea of FMF with

I found the idea of FMF with the "third" wearing
a strap on to be very interesting. I think it would
be more likely for the coupled female to want
direct exposure with the genitalia so the option
of a strap on as a toy in this scenario was not
really that believable. I liked the topics of
discussion that were listed, the tips on determining
parameters as negotiation. Is there something
similar on doing a 4-way? If not, please do that
next!

a strap on? really?

I found the idea of FMF with the "third" wearing
a strap on to be very interesting. I think it would
be more likely for the coupled female to want
direct exposure with the genitalia so the option
of a strap on as a toy in this scenario was not
really that believable. I liked the topics of
discussion that were listed, the tips on determining
parameters as negotiation. Is there something
similar on doing a 4-way? If not, please do that
next!

I find it very interesting

I find it very interesting that previous commenters criticized the illustrations as being heteronormative, not showing bisexual men, or only women/men. Looking at the illustrations closely, it becomes apparent that the critics themselves were filling in the genders of the some of the subjects themselves, since many of the characters' genitalia are not shown. Plus, we all know genitalia don't equal gender, right?
Their criticism about lack of diversity seem to be illustrative of their own assumptions about gender (based on such trivial signifiers as hair length, seemingly!) and not the actual drawings.

For example, the narrative with the established couple finding and playing with a third: all the commenters took the third as a woman. To me I see a transgendered person or hermaphrodite, but there is ambiguity. Which is great! But clearly previous commenters only saw long hair and tits, and decided they had enough info to cry "heteronormative!"
Which makes me giggle.
Great illustrations, great representation! Keep it up!

Yep, I also saw the 3rd

Yep, I also saw the 3rd person as trans. *high five*

Thank you. Nailed it. The

Thank you. Nailed it. The illustrations do show many "situations" People are soo quick to scan and judge...

Idk. Im an avid reader of the

Idk. Im an avid reader of the comic but this one kinda felt weird. I dont think that it was erikas intention but some things in the comic make it look like you don't HAVE to do a threeway but if you dont or dont want to you are prude/missing out.
Especially the last sentence directly comparing a 1 to 1 partnership with a threeway rwads like: "threeways are awesome and better than normal partnerships for sex".
furthermore I felt the panel in the middle weird... on the one side the comic tells you to not badger your SO about having a threeway, but on the other hand it goes like "doesnt matter if your partner doesnt like it at first, HE/SHE WILL COME TO LIKE IT DEFINATELY".

Again i dont think that this was erikas intention or message but the wording could have been chosen a bit better. dont force your own sexual worldview onto othets as being superior or more fun in General. Its always a matter if personal taste.

didnt like this particular one so much

Idk. Im an avid reader of the comic but this one kinda felt weird. I dont think that it was erikas intention but some things in the comic make it look like you don't HAVE to do a threeway but if you dont or dont want to you are prude/missing out.
Especially the last sentence directly comparing a 1 to 1 partnership with a threeway rwads like: "threeways are awesome and better than normal partnerships for sex".
furthermore I felt the panel in the middle weird... on the one side the comic tells you to not badger your SO about having a threeway, but on the other hand it goes like "doesnt matter if your partner doesnt like it at first, HE/SHE WILL COME TO LIKE IT DEFINATELY".

Again i dont think that this was erikas intention or message but the wording could have been chosen a bit better. dont force your own sexual worldview onto othets as being superior or more fun in General. Its always a matter if personal taste.

Gotta agree that the genders

Gotta agree that the genders portrayed are not necessarily all 2 F 1 M and as was pointed out, genitialia doesn't equal gender (also the "Eiffel Tower" was pretty indicative of two guys and a girl) ...

Overall, I thought it was pretty smart for a short insight, tho I might've wished a couple extra things were thrown in, like "Know yourself & your own mind well before proceeding" and "Don't be ashamed if it doesn't go as expected".

Or even better......

Or even better, I would have liked to see a panel of a woman and two men getting it on with each other. That would have been awesome. ;-)

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