Before I go any farther, let me say I'm glad Obama won. I feel like if queer folks don't say that first, there will be a backlash against our community that will be painfully unprecedented. So, again I say: I am glad Obama won.
I'm disgusted to live in California, a state that refuses to give me civil rights, a state where when the contest is between love and hate--hate wins. There will be a lot of coverage on this issue today but the question that's been missing so far and I imagine will be missing today: Does anyone really expect us to be going to any more heterosexual weddings? 'Cause I have three in the next two months and there's no way in hell I'll be in attendance.
It's been tempting with this issue for the campaign to play oppression Olympics. It's an easy jump to compare LGBT civil rights with other civil rights struggles and I have been very very (very) critical of this tactic. Having said that I can't help but make this analogy:
"Well, I know the country club wont let you in and really I think that's just awful, when we voted, as a club, I totally voted against it. Buuuuuut....its such a nice club! And I always dreamed of being part of it and I really want my kids to grow up in a country club so I'm gonna' join. And for real, I totally don't think it's fair that you can't. Sorry! Oh, and hey you should come celebrate with me as I become a member. You don't mind, right?"
Well, heterosexuals, that is *exactly* what you're doing and saying when you get married.
So don't. Don't get married. Cancel your wedding. Maybe you already booked the caterer, but I don't care. Stand with a community in solidarity and choose not to get married until everyone can. And if you're not going to do that, at least don't have the audacity to invite me to your initiation into a club that won't have me as a member.