I know this week's Douchebag Decree doesn't come out until tomorrow, but I thought we could take a minute to prepare for it by discussing an O.G. Douchebag who has made some new gender waves over the past few days: Rush Limbaugh. Limbaugh (a.k.a. Sir Douche-yness) has noticed a (gasp!) gender gap in his approval ratings as of late, and is planning to host a women's summit in order to figure out what he can do to get some ladies in his corner (you know, where he can better explain our shortcomings to us). An actual quote from rushlimbaugh.com:
I want some of these women to start telling me what it is I must do to close the gender gap -- or, if not what it is I must do to close the gender gap, what it is I've done that has caused the gender gap... What could I do to attract a higher favorability rating among more women in America? I own the men, and what must I do now to own women? And who better to ask than women? Including some of those who may agree that that I'm unfavorable. So stand by for that.
I know you are standing by right this minute with suggestions for good ol' Rush on how he might go about "owning" more women, so read on for more info and to pitch in your two cents!
The poll that sparked Limbaugh's interest in conducting this women's summit showed a 31-point gap between men and women among Limbaugh supporters (you can read the poll here). Rush is claiming to be shocked by the discrepancy, and is wondering what he can do about it. What I am wondering though is, Why is anyone surprised by this? I just sort of assumed that Limbaugh was at least self-aware enough to recognize that he is a big misogynist. The only thing that surprises me is that this gap isn't bigger. Let's save Rush the trouble of organizing this summit and give a few reasons as to why this gender gap might exist:
- Rush Limbaugh claims that his cat has taught him more about women than anyone else in his life. Why? Because she "comes to me when she wants to be fed," and "[s]he's smart enough to know she can't feed herself." No wonder feminists love cats!
- Limbaugh posited that the reason women were supporting Hillary Clinton's run for presidency was that they'd had "two or three abortions," doing "everything feminism asked them to do." Looks like someone was too doped up on OxyContin to stay awake for his Women's Studies final, doesn't it?
- In defense of his coining of the phrase "feminazis" to describe feminist activists, Limbaugh says he won't apologize "Because it's right. Because it's accurate... If you're offended, it's your problem. It's not mine." You know, because supporting a feminist cause is the same as committing horrific acts of genocide. Right?
- #16 on Limbaugh's list of "35 Undeniable Truths of Life" is that "women should not be allowed on juries where the accused is a stud." You know, because our sex-crazed brains just couldn't handle it. Oh, and #24? "Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society." Thanks to feminism, unattractive women can also be kept off of juries where a "stud" is on trial!
So, you know, there might be a few reasons why some women don't take too kindly to Rush's call-in show.
At any rate, Limbaugh will be conducting a more formal, call-in summit on his show some time over the next few days. He wants to hear from women who have ideas as to how he can close this gender gap and gain more female support. While we here at Bitch would never encourage anyone to participate in this summit just to get a chance to call Limbaugh out for his douchebag behavior on the air (and perhaps record it for the Bitch podcast?) we certainly can't stop anyone who takes it upon herself to do so. Just make sure to have a medic standing by in the case of rage-induced high blood pressure.
Does anyone have any ideas for Rush Limbaugh that they'd like to share in the comments section? I'm sure he's an avid Bitch reader.