Thinking Kink: The Right to Play With Race

This is the second part of a two-part series on race and BDSM. Read the first post here.

"As often happens, black women carry a double burden, as they are asked to uphold a respectability built on both racist and sexist foundations." - Tamara Winfrey Harris, "No Disrespect" from the Fame + Fortune issue of Bitch

As we discussed in my last post, playing with race in BDSM strikes many as problematic. As a feminist with white privilege, I don't have direct experience with racism in the BDSM community and I can't speak to black women's experiences. However, I believe that if we are tired of the patronizing assumptions that women who participate in BDSM as submissives are disempowered, brainwashed, and somehow "letting the side down," then as Clarisse Thorn says, we also must recognize that it's "pretty damn patriarchal and paternalistic for white feminist theorists to tell [a black woman] that she oughtn't do race play."

Yet critics had plenty to say about Ciara's apparent submission to Justin Timberlake in the video for Love Sex Magic, even though as Andrea Plaid points out, "Ciara and Timberlake negotiated—again, the core BDSM idea of consent–that particular part of the video. He's also not standing as a proxy for all white men and their enslaving fantasies [any] more than she is a stand-in for all Black women wanting to be on a leash." Plaid also reminds us that to assume the submissive is powerless is to fundamentally misunderstand the power dynamics of BDSM. It may be troubling for us to see Ciara reenacting an image that is still too familiar in everyday life—a white man asserting his power over a black woman—however, there is a difference between sexualizing racialized behavior and directly replicating hatred and inequality, and to assume that actors and audiences cannot see this is condescending to say the least. Assuming that Ciara must also be the "bottom" off-camera is patronizing. It's also inaccurate in this case: It was she, not Timberlake, who came up with the idea for the video.

When we see famous women of color playing with sexual power dynamics, the tendency is to assume this must be reflective of what they do in their personal lives (see this previous post on Rihanna), and isn't that problematic? Mollena Williams, BDSM educator and one of few black submissives who speaks openly about her participation in race play, is tired of having history thrown in her face—"I show my respect [for my ancestors] by living fearlessly. I firmly believe the people who fought and died for our freedom weren't sitting on the front lines worrying about how that freedom would be used."

There have been some fantastic ripostes to the demand that black women censor their behavior just because it might make other people uncomfortable. Fierce and angular Grace Jones was keeping it black, kinky, and androgynous in videos such as "Slave To The Rhythm" in the years when black people were rarely seen on MTV—and who can beat "Warm Leatherette" for best kinky song title? Unlikely BDSM spokeswoman Joan Armatrading merrily sang a tribute to erotic violence in "I Love It When You Call Me Names", crooning "I know you're gonna slap my face/ And beat me up over and over again." As we scramble to decipher whether Armatrading is  glorifying the physical abuse of black women, a quick listen to the lyrics tells us that she is actually describing a BDSM relationship from the outside, and taking on its different roles during the song ("He loves it when she beats his brains out...It's their way of loving not mine.")

Armatrading's role-playing tribute is a perfect example of how art is often not real life, or even close. It's also a necessary reminder of how we need to accept that black women—singers, artists, or BDSM performers—are as capable of getting into boundary-pushing roles and then leaving them behind afterwards as anyone else. Recognizing precisely that "it's their way of loving not mine" also reminds us that for some, the thrill of the taboo and delving into what we find scary can be the biggest turn-on of all. Mollena Williams writes that "daring to stare into the face of racism, classism and sexism and discover why they tripped my erotic triggers"* left her more fulfilled as a person, as well as a sexual being. And therein lies the appeal of BDSM that pushes boundaries, race included—it allows us "to play with real, structural inequalities in safe and pleasurable ways: in ways that make such play play."

*This extract from Tristan Taormino's excellent book The Ultimate Guide to Kink. Mollena is also co-author of forthcoming BDSM guide Playing Well With Others.

Previously: Playing With Race in BDSM, Gay S&M in Pop Music, Then and Now

Top image from Wikimedia Commons user Liv_Tyler_Ciara_Malgosia_Bela. Bottom image from Flickr user ocad123.