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True Blood: Gone, Gone, Gone

by Kelsey Wallace
Published on August 13, 2012 at 11:04am

Last night’s True Blood was a real tearjerker, was it not?

Jason and Jessica sitting at a table together

We’re live-tweeting the season at @BitchMediaLive. Follow along during the episodes and get caught up right here! We reorder our tweets so you can read along while you watch. Be sure to tweet at us during the show, too!

Live-Tweeting True Blood, Episode Ten

Storified by BitchMedia LiveTweet · Mon, Aug 13 2012 10:55:55

Maybe it’s just the ginger ale and Oxycontin talking, but I’m @andizeisler and I’m excited for a new #TrueBlood. Let’s go!BitchMedia LiveTweet
To recap, last week’s episode = batshit. Hoyt was almost hog food, Russell and Steve got bromantic, and no one knows what Bill’s game is.BitchMedia LiveTweet
Really, though, is True Blood the only synthetic blood on the market? No Sangtastic? No Just Your Type? That just seems like bad business.BitchMedia LiveTweet
Definite new marketing opportunity here, though: Chopstakes! “Add some Kung POW to your vampire defense arsenal!” #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
Poor hog-bitten Hoyt. Laughed at Mama Fortenberry’s “Cheeto-headed tramp,” tho. #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
This new sheriff seems to have come straight to #TrueBlood from the set of The Lost Boys, with a stop to raid Adam Ant’s closet.BitchMedia LiveTweet
“Lilith is a godless god.” Say what you will, Godric, but the girl’s bikini line is flawlessly groomed. #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
Russell and Steve slow-dancing to “Teenage Dream” in a frat house is just about everything. Don’t ever look back! #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
Although Lafayette’s sparkling “L” belt buckle is definitely running a close second in the “everything” stakes. #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
Eternal Sunshine of Hoyt’s Spotless Mind: “Take this hurt away so I can go and have my life.” #seriouslyitstheleastyoucandoBitchMedia LiveTweet
(Crying SO HARD at this whole scene, obvs.) #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
Ah, it’s the old backpack-in-front-of-the-torso trick to hide Anna Paquin’s pregnancy. #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
Jason, did you just look under that teddy bear’s apron? For what, may I ask? #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
I honestly don’t know if Eric’s lying, or if Bill’s playing everyone or what. I do know that Russell has just about had it with Lilith, tho.BitchMedia LiveTweet
“Don’t go, Bubba.” Aw, Jason. You really did love you some Hoyt. #TrueBlood #morecryingBitchMedia LiveTweet
“Two thousand years of our history, right here within these four walls.” Bill’s gotten awfully flexible from blowing smoke up his own ass.BitchMedia LiveTweet
“I don’t know nothin’ about birthin’ no baby vampires!” = best line of the episode, obviously.BitchMedia LiveTweet
Oh, good, we haven’t heard Ginger screaming bloody murder yet this season! #TrueBlood #alsonicehairPamBitchMedia LiveTweet
Well, we knew Russell’s coup was coming. Who knew it would come with such a delightful mash-up of accents? #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
Claude, throwing some fairy shade: “She’s 500, but she only admits to being 3. Like you really couldn’t tell she’s halfway to being old.”BitchMedia LiveTweet
Hey, isn’t that Andy Bellefluer’s fetus inside the fairy who lies about her age? That’ll be an awkward conversation next season. #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
Only two episodes left of #TrueBlood! And I demand that at least one of them heavily feature Alcide and his werechest. Tune in next week…BitchMedia LiveTweet

Previously: Everybody Wants to Rule the World, Somebody That I Used to Know

by Kelsey Wallace
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Kelsey Wallace is an editor in Portland, Oregon. Follow her on Twitter if you like TV and pictures of dogs.

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