True Blood: In the Beginning

Last night’s True Blood gave us drunken karaoke, body horror, and a surprise dose of Islamophobia! WTF?

Sookie shooting sparks out of her hands
Fairly fairy.

We’re live-tweeting the season at @BitchMediaLive. Follow along during the episodes and get caught up right here! Be sure to tweet at us during the show, too.

Live-Tweeting True Blood, Episode Seven

Storified by BitchMedia LiveTweet · Mon, Jul 23 2012 11:10:13

It’s #TrueBlood time again! Smoke ‘em Ifrit you’ve got ‘em, right, Terry Bellefleur? I’m @andizeisler, and let’s do this.BitchMedia LiveTweet
Even in night vision, Russell can’t stop hamming it up. #TrueBlood #highvampBitchMedia LiveTweet
Chez Fae. It’s okay, Jason, I haven’t been to fairy school either. And it’s true, Sookie’s head lit up real good. #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
Oooh. Sookie gets a shot at humanity. This could be the most interesting thing she’s done in a long time.BitchMedia LiveTweet
Kenya’s WTF face at Sam sniffing out rubber masks is among the more animated-gif–worthy moments in recent #TrueBlood memory.BitchMedia LiveTweet
“Hate groups is about more than hate.” Oh, Hoyt. Get out. This anti-vamp Tea Party will only lead to tears. And, uh, blood.BitchMedia LiveTweet
Next stop for Russell: host of a late-night Bon Temps talk show called either “No Guts, No Glory” or “What’s My Spine?” #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
Alcide wore a shirt for the entirety of last episode. This kickboxing scene exists strictly to remedy that. #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
“Respectfully, Martha, your son doesn’t have a grave because y’all ate him.” #TrueBlood #realtalkBitchMedia LiveTweet
YOU GUYS WHAT IF BUD DEARBORN IS THE DRAGON?? #TrueBlood #theresgottabeareasonforthisBitchMedia LiveTweet
Every time I hear the name “Don Bartolo” I just think of a really tasty strawberry-flavored wine cooler. Just me? #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
Do you think Bret Michaels watches #TrueBlood just to reminisce about when his hair looked as amazing as Pam’s? #bigcrimpin’BitchMedia LiveTweet
“It’s vampire blood. We’re vampires. It’s not going to do anything.” Cue the wild sex and psychedelic hijinks! #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
Between the drug scenes on both #TrueBlood and Six Feet Under, I get the sense that Alan Ball has done some experimenting.BitchMedia LiveTweet
It’s a crowded field, but Don Bartolo is definitely walking away with the Scariest Fucker Of the Night award. #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
Way too much holy war/End of Days talk on tonight’s #TrueBlood. Kind of missing the Maenad orgies right about now.BitchMedia LiveTweet
Other than the part where he wants to eat you, Russell Edgington seems like a really fun karaoke partner. #TrueBlood #youlightupmylifeBitchMedia LiveTweet
I think the smoke monster is actually just a confused and hungry Cookie Monster after a s’mores-making incident. #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
Oh. OH. @HBO, you’re entering a world of pain. Have fun with that. #TrueBlood #problematic #reallyfuckingproblematicBitchMedia LiveTweet
Comic-book nerd makes Sookie prediction (“As soon as she wears out her magic, they’re gonna need her”), goes back to looking at comics.BitchMedia LiveTweet
Was anyone else kind of hoping Bebe Neuwirth was going to show up instead of this rando naked chick? #TrueBlood #OGLilithBitchMedia LiveTweet
Is it possible for a show to jump the shark more than once? Seems like #TrueBlood has managed it, all in this episode.BitchMedia LiveTweet
Well, that was…something. Tune in again next week for more #TrueBlood action! And hopefully less Islamophobia!BitchMedia LiveTweet

So far, it doesn’t look like HBO has responded to pushback for that egregious and unnecessary “suicide is for Muslims” line. Let’s hope they knock that shit off before next week’s episode.

Previously: Hopeless, Let’s Boot and Rally

by Kelsey Wallace
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Kelsey Wallace is an editor in Portland, Oregon. Follow her on Twitter if you like TV and pictures of dogs.

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