An honest-to-goodness Portland native, Kelsey earned her M.A. in Communication Studies/Gender Studies at the University of Oregon and her B.A. in Communication Studies/Sociology/French at Gonzaga University. When not blogging for Bitch, Kelsey can be found lecturing reluctant students, listening to podcasts, and hanging out with her French Bulldog, Edith. She also enjoys making things out of fabric and watching pretty much anything on television (preferably at the same time, and preferably with Edith). If you're looking for a new pal who loves both LOLcats and Linda Ronstadt records, she's your gal.

Favorite albums: Girls in the Garage vol. 9 Oriental Special, Paper Television by The Blow, Live at the Harlem Square Club by Sam Cooke, Ready to Die by Notorious B.I.G.

Favorite movies: The Royal Tenenbaums, The Station Agent, Romancing the Stone

Favorite books: Pastoralia (George Saunders), Slouching Towards Bethlehem (Joan Didion), An Invisible Sign of My Own (Aimee Bender)

Turn-ons: '70s country music, animal telepathy, boats

Turnoffs: baby talk, poor grammar, aggressive quirkiness

Celebrity crush: James Spader, especially during his '80s asshole phase

Secretly wishes she were a: hip hop MC